


let sparks fly (and dreams launch)

by fifty-one sunsets (idyleski)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, on junhwe's part lbr here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-18 18:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idyleski/pseuds/fifty-one%20sunsets
Summary: "You have a soft spot for him," Hanbin tells him, voice bordering on accusatory.(Alternatively, in which Jinhwan attempts to be a Responsible Adult for the greater good of debuting but ultimately fails.)





	let sparks fly (and dreams launch)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kalopsia (girltalk)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girltalk/gifts).



> whew finally transferred the last of my fics from lapslock/lj to here. [originally](http://idyleski.livejournal.com/5416.html) posted on 20/06/2015 sometime after m&m era so a general warning lmao

It’s glaringly obvious, really. 

It’s actually so incredibly obvious that there’s really no way someone can’t notice it. Jinhwan is nothing but observant, so it doesn’t escape his eye that sometime three months after Junhwe and Yunhyeong arrive at YG, Junhwe catches a case of awkward around him. 

Not awkward in the sense where he won’t stay in the same room as Jinhwan for more than a second; in fact, it’s almost the opposite. Goo Junhwe is far from awkward, possessing much more charisma than others in the industry do at his age. He settled in rather well with rest of them and became friends quickly, and the only exception is that he can’t seem to stay more than five seconds alone with is Bobby. 

He wasn’t awkward around Jinhwan in the beginning, which is why he surveys Junhwe carefully from the corner of his eye as they’re taking a rare break from dance practice. Junhwe is standing to the side, somewhere in between where Hanbin and Yunhyeong are, and where Jinhwan is sitting on the bench, lying on Bobby’s shoulder. It’s disgusting and sweaty and Jinhwan wrinkles his nose as he watches Junhwe rock back and forth on his feet. 

Bobby snickers from behind his phone and it jostles Jinhwan into his armpit which is absolutely filthy and he never wants to smell something so gross ever again. Junhwe pauses in between rocking and glances up from the floor to look at Jinhwan, who smiles despite the fact his nose spent a second too long in Bobby’s armpit. There’s a small flush spreading up the back of the younger’s neck and it’s pretty cute, actually. 

This time, Bobby lets out a full laugh, lips pulled back to showcase his front teeth that Jinhwan may or may not find a little bit cute as well. His face is once again too close to Bobby’s armpit for his own comfort. Jinhwan scowls in mock disgust as he pushes Bobby to the side, getting up to sit next to Junhwe’s feet. Bobby sends him a wicked smile as he situates himself comfortably. He can feel Junhwe freeze up next to him for less than a second before sliding down next to him. The gears turn in his mind turn and click into place. 

Junhwe twiddles with his thumbs and Bobby looks like he’s about a second away from bursting out into laughter. Jinhwan sends him a dark glare and Bobby’s sends Hanbin a knowing look as he goes back to looking at his phone. Sighing inwardly, Jinhwan turns over to Junhwe, who darts away, and Jinhwan’s mouth draws into an involuntary smile. 

 

 

“You know he likes you, right?” Hanbin asks one night when the three of them are at the studio. Jinhwan looks up sleepily from where he’d, not that he’d ever admit it, almost fallen asleep on Hanbin’s shoulder. Untangling his arms from Hanbin’s waist, Jinhwan scooches up in the hard plastic chair and rubs at his eyes. 

He blinks drowsily and Hanbin has what Bobby likes to call his leader face on, but the effect is rather ruined considering Hanbin looks as though he’s about to faint at any moment. “You should get some rest,” Jinhwan murmurs as he runs his hand through Hanbin’s hair, and if Bobby’s eye bags are considered bad, then he’s not even sure what Hanbin’s are. Hanbin’s hair is slightly damp and he ducks to head to avoid Jinhwan’s hand. 

“In an hour,” he says, and despite the fact that he’s two years younger, Hanbin looks so incredibly old and weary. 

Jinhwan hums as he resumes running his fingers through Hanbin’s hair. “Half an hour,” he tells him firmly and Hanbin opens his mouth, as if about to argue, then promptly closes it. Bobby turns back around to face the monitor, once Hanbin continues to work. 

They end up leaving closer to an hour later, much to Jinhwan’s chagrin, walking side by side on a sidewalk that’s only meant for two. The streets are illuminated by the occasional flickering lamplight. The stars in the city are dimmer, not only obscured by the clouds but by the city itself. Jinhwan is hit with a sudden longing for home and Bobby looks at him knowingly. 

“It’s probably just a crush,” Jinhwan murmurs as he opens the front door to their dorm. The three of them stand next to each other in the elevator and Bobby wraps his arms around Jinhwan as he hooks his chin over his shoulder. 

“An extremely big, obvious crush,” Bobby grins at them and Jinhwan flicks his forehead affectionately as the elevator comes to a halt. “You have to admit it’s kind of cute, though.” Jinhwan leans into Bobby’s chest as he allows him to do most of the work as they walk forward. 

Hanbin is frowning at the both of them, crossing his arms as he lets out a slight huff. “As long as it doesn’t interfere with the group, i suppose it’s alright.” Inwardly Jinhwan sighs, Hanbin has too many worries for someone his age. He doesn’t need another one.

“He’s fifteen,” Jinhwan whispers as they step into the dark living room and Bobby nearly trips on someone’s shoe in front of the door, almost sending both of them sprawling onto the hardwood floor. “it’s just a crush, it’ll probably pass. Don’t worry about it.” 

Hanbin still doesn’t look entirely convinced though, and Jinhwan would probably spend more time reassuring him if it weren’t for the fact that Hanbin and Bobby’s daily dosage of sleep, or lack thereof, was a more pressing matter. 

Sometime later, Hanbin quietly pulls back Jinhwan’s covers to crawl into bed with him and the two of them are facing each other. In the darkness, Jinhwan blinks at Hanbin and despite the fact that he probably couldn’t see his own hand right now, he can still sense the tiredness etched onto Hanbin’s face. 

“It’s just that i’m worried about the group, you know,” Hanbin says, so softly it’s nearly inaudible. Jinhwan doesn’t tell him that he knows, he doesn’t need to say it out loud.

 

It's quite endearing actually. At least, Jinhwan thinks so.

There's the way Junhwe will fumble around him, how sometimes he'll trip over his own feet as he scrambles to follow Jinhwan out the door. He has to reprimand Bobby constantly to not laugh at the fifteen year old, at least not when they're in the same general vicinity.

"He’s like a lost puppy," Bobby tells him late one night when they're at the studio again, Hanbin and Bobby working on the song for the upcoming monthly evaluation, and Jinhwan there for moral support (and to make sure that they don't pull another all-nighter). Junhwe has the tendency to follow Jinhwan around like a small child.

In the dorms, he'll trail around him from time to time, following him from room to room, attempting not to be obvious about it, but in actuality he's hopelessly so. 

On one of their days off, Junhwe ends up trailing behind him as he moves from room to room, casually lingering close enough to Jinhwan to be just a tad creepy (Hanbin's words, not his, as he moves through the kitchen and quirks an eyebrow at him while grabbing a quick snack before going back to his room and shutting the door), but keeping a large enough distance that it's still somewhat cute.

"Um, hyung," Yunhyeong whispers to him in a slightly conspiratorial voice, "Junhwe's been following you around all day." with his head, he gestures in Junhwe's direction. 

Turning around, Jinhwan cranes his neck to see the fifteen year old sitting outside the kitchen, book in his hands. 

He's only flipped the page once in the last ten minutes. Jinhwan is fairly certain it doesn't take that long to read one piece.

"It’s alright," he waves his hand in a dismissive manner, continuing to eat, shoving the udon noodles into his mouth to stop himself from smiling. Yunhyeong shrugs his shoulders and drops the matter, instead asking him if he can help him after his vocal lessons tomorrow.

It's kind of cute, really, the light dusting of pink on Junhwe's cheeks when Jinhwan catches him staring. He turns around the very next second, feigning interest as he pretends to inspect the spotless, white dorm walls. 

And then there are the moments when Junhwe doesn't think he's paying attention. He's not nearly as subtle as he thinks he is.

He's sitting on the couch, watching music bank or at least _trying_ to, but it's kind of hard with the unsubtle glances Junhwe is giving him from the opposite side of the room. He can't help the small, upwards quirk of his lips as Junhwe fiddles with the seams of his jeans. Sighing, Jinhwan lowers the volume of the television.

"There’s an empty seat on the couch, you know," Jinhwan says absently as he watches big bang's performance on screen.

"Um," Junhwe responds eloquently, pointing to himself with a slightly gaping mouth.

Jinhwan nods. It's not as though anyone else is in the room. Bobby is busy showing off to Donghyuk and Yunhyeong is practicing. Hanbin is either holed up in his room working or passed out on the bunk. Junhwe almost trips over his own feet as he moves to sit next to him.

He's not supposed to be indulging in Junhwe's crush. They're both trainees and Junhwe is young. Inviting the fifteen year old to sit next to him isn't the how he's supposed to stop his pointless infatuation in its early stages. (and to stop adding to the increasingly long list of Hanbin’s worries).

 _Just this once_ , Jinhwan scolds himself mentally as he pretends not to notice the small smile beginning to form on Junhwe's face.

 

Jinhwan likes to think that he treats all his dongsaengs fairly (Bobby scoffs loudly at this). As the eldest, he feels some kind of responsibility over the others. 

There's Donghyuk, who, despite his seemingly never-ending enthusiasm, has moments when his smile falters into a broken half-smile. Each time he stands there looking uncertain, like he knows he should be smiling but just can’t.

And Yunhyeong, who's almost hopeless when he first comes to YG. Jinhwan ends up staying behind during their breaks countless times to go over their routine and to help him with his vocals just one more time. (If there's anything he's learned over their extra practice sessions it's that Yunhyeong never asks for help unless he, or Hanbin, suggests it first).

Bobby and Hanbin are slightly different.

The three of them have been together longer than any of the other trainees. They've been through their own separate hurdles before Yunhyeong and Junhwe were added to the team, and later Donghyuk. Contrary to what most people think, the three of them didn't mesh together perfectly at first. It took a while for the click to finally occur, for them to smooth out all (most) of their kinks.

As a result, Jinhwan can't help but feel a tad bit more responsible for the two of them.

Each time Hanbin and Bobby pull yet another all-nighter, working in the studio, he always makes sure to stay behind with them.

("You don't have to look after us," Hanbin yawns as he glares at the computer screen, as though that will help him rearrange the song faster. His eyes are red and strained, dark circles even more prominent underneath the harsh light.

"As if I’d let that happen," Jinhwan clucks his tongue disapprovingly. "If I’m not here, who knows how long you two would stay in here." not to mention if they'd even remember to eat. Jinhwan glances at Bobby, whose head bobs up and down rhythmically.

"Not that long," Hanbin mutters darkly. He's almost pouting, and it's terribly easy to forget that he's younger than Jinhwan is when he carries so much weight for the group.

"Sure," Jinhwan pats his cheek, "now eat.")

 

Goo Junhwe is a completely different story altogether.

"You have a soft spot for him," Hanbin tells him, voice bordering on accusatory. 

"Who?" Jinhwan blinks innocently at him.

Hanbin scowls and crosses his arms, leaning back into the plastic chair. Like this, he almost looks like a petulant child, just a lot grumpier and with an even worse fashion sense. "You know who, Jinhwan hyung."

"I do not," he retorts as he pokes at his rice.

"You kind of do," Bobby pipes up from beside him. Jinhwan glares at him. "Sometimes you let him get away with stuff that you don't even let _me_ get away with." pouting, Bobby sticks the straw in his milk carton and sips.

"I treat all of you guys equally," Jinhwan says. "and besides, if i didn't stop you then who would?"

"Not really, hyung," Bobby says as he continues to drink his milk, crumpling up the plastic straw wrapper into a small ball. "You never give Donghyuk and Yunhyeong the same kind of attention you give Junhwe."

"I thought you said you'd make sure it wouldn't interfere with the group," Hanbin's nose twists as he looks down at his lunch tray.

"Eat your food," Jinhwan tells him and Hanbin sighs as he obediently eats his kimchi. "Either way it's just a small crush."

"Yeah, but," Hanbin quickly chews and swallows his food as Jinhwan fixes him with a look, "what if it turns into something more? If you keep this up he might actually think you like him back."

"Did you see him the other day? Just because Jinhwan asked him if he wanted to go with him to the convenience store for a snack run? His face was so–" Jinhwan cuts Bobby off with a kick to his shin. The knowing smirk still doesn't come off his face, even as his eyes tear up.

"You don't like him, do you hyung?" Hanbin asks as he looks him in the eye.

"No of course not," Jinhwan exclaims. Something inside of his chest twists and he ignores the small whispering in the back of his mind. "Like I’ve said, it's just a crush. Give it a bit and it'll fade away. And for the last time i _do not_ have a soft spot for Junhwe." 

"Sure hyung, sure," patting his head, Bobby smiles, "we believe you." 

 

When Junhwe is sixteen his crush becomes no less obvious. The extra year of experience has done nothing for him (except maybe finally add muscle to his skinny frame so that he no longer looks as thin, as well as the few extra centimeters he now looks down at Jinhwan with). In fact, it somehow only becomes even more glaringly apparent.

He's somehow become more awkward than he had been when Jinhwan first realized that Junhwe had a crush on him. Bobby laughs at this new found "upgrade" and Hanbin just broods silently with a disapproving glare. Jinhwan decides he doesn't care what Hanbin thinks regarding this matter, not really.

Junhwe does so by making the most transparent, high school level (more like middle school but Jinhwan is kind) excuses to spend more time with Jinhwan. He stays behind when Hanbin is too busy to help Yunhyeong with the choreography, even when he was already dismissed half an hour ago.

"Which one should we buy?" Junhwe asks, voice cracking as he holds up several different flavors of chips. They're on their secret midnight snack run that Jinhwan really should not be on. But Bobby had asked him the day before, and Jinhwan is worse than he'd like to admit at refusing him.

"The blue ones," he responds immediately, bending down to survey the different pocky flavors the store offers. "Hanbin and Bobby like those the best." he decides on the strawberry, because they're closest to cherry, and grabs five of those.

Getting up, he walks over to Junhwe who's awkwardly holding the plastic shopping basket nearly stuffed full in one hand, and several bags of blue chips in the other. His hair is a complete mess, even when stuffed underneath a hat.

The sixteen year old looks like he's almost about to keel over and the dim lighting doesn't help, only serving to emphasize the shadows on his face. Jinhwan frowns and grabs the basket from Junhwe and moves to the cash register.

"Do you want anything else?" he looks up to see Junhwe rubbing at his eyelids blearily. He shakes his head and Jinhwan fishes a few bills out of his back pocket for the snacks. Maybe he should have been more firm about Junhwe staying in bed.

"I can carry the snacks," Junhwe says quietly as they finish paying and make their way out of the store. Jinhwan shrugs and hands the plastic bags over. Their fingers brush and he can still see Junhwe flush, even though the only lights around them right now are the obscured stars and dim street lights.

Something warm churns inside of Jinhwan and he withdraws his hand sharply, pushing the feeling down.

It's a quiet walk back, interrupted only by the swishing of the plastic back, their rhythmic footsteps, and the occasional car driving around in seoul at three in the morning.

"Hey, hyung," Junhwe asks when they're almost halfway back to the dorms. They've taken the longer route, because the air outside is pleasantly cool and Jinhwan kind of needs a short walk to clear his head. "Which one do you like best?" his voice cracks at the end, and his eyebrows are slightly furrowed in concentration as though he’d spent the entire time debating whether or not to break the silence.

"What?" Jinhwan replies, dumbly.

"You know," Junhwe mumbles and it's almost _bashful_. "The chips. Which ones are your favorite?"

Jinhwan halts momentarily to give him a strange look. "Does it really matter?"

Junhwe opens his mouth, but then closes it, as if deciding against something. He's silent for the rest of the way back, face with his signature frown, and Jinhwan starts walking more quickly because he already looks immensely tired and Hanbin is going sit down and give Jinhwan another long, disapproving glare if Junhwe nods off during practice again.

"i like the green ones," he says softly once they've returned to the dorms. He closes the door gently behind them and sits down to take off his shoes.

The way Junhwe's face and eyes light up at this new information brings back the strange, warm feeling to Jinhwan's chest.

 

As a general rule of thumb, Jinhwan's bed is open to everyone almost every night.

It's a habit that starts when it's just the three of them: him, Bobby, and Hanbin. At first it starts more out of a need, like when the heating is broken and the three of them are shivering underneath threadbare blankets.

Bobby is the first to move; he rolls onto Jinhwan's mattress and Jinhwan peels back his blanket accordingly. Bobby’s body is warm, almost on fire, as he curls himself around Jinhwan and Hanbin begins to shift closer as well.

After that, it becomes a habit. Most nights Bobby comes crawling into his bed. Sometimes with a "my bed isn't as comfortable as yours" as he flashes a grin and circles his arms around his waist, tucking his chin over Jinhwan’s shoulder. (his eyes say otherwise though. The dark bruises never fade and sometimes they're slightly red and it's those times that Jinhwan knows he's just gotten off a skype call with his mother).

His limbs are always a complete mess and more often than not, Jinhwan ends up with a painful elbow digging into his side when he wakes up in the morning. He doesn't mind, though. It's worth waking up to the small smile Bobby has on his face when he's sleeping.

Donghyuk spends almost every other night in Jinhwan's bed. So much so that Bobby asks him if he wants to switch rooms instead. Junhwe is not pleased, if the small kick he gives Donghyuk underneath the table is anything to go by. He alternates between his and Yunhyeong's 

Donghyuk buries his face into Jinhwan's chest and snuggles as close as he can, as if the more body contact they sustain, the happier he'll feel. Sometimes his grip on Jinhwan's waist is so tight he finds that he nearly can't breathe, but it's worth the tranquil face Donghyuk has when he finally does fall asleep, exhausted.

There are also those rare nights when Yunhyeong crawls into his bed, eyes red as Jinhwan pulls back the covers for him. On those nights all the pent up tears and frustration come pouring out until there's almost nothing left.

Hanbin rarely comes to Jinhwan's bed at night. It's mostly due to the fact that he's up so late that night blurs into morning and sometimes when he stumbles into the dorm, the sky has begun to turn a light pink (on those days, Jinhwan and Bobby practically have to pin him down to make him sleep. The boy's running on fumes and Jinhwan's not sure how much longer he can last).

When he does, it's always with his eyes half-closed and swollen as he falls into Jinhwan's bed. His voice sounds tired whenever he speaks, exhaustion weighing down every syllable as he looks at Jinhwan on his side with a weary smile on his face. Other times, Hanbin is completely wordless as he climbs in. His entire face is gaunt and he seems more weighed down than atlas, with the entire world and then some carried on his back.

And then there's Junhwe.

He's never come to Jinhwan's bed at night. Jinhwan's not sure if it's some weird sort of teenage insistence to show that he can be independent or if he's actually embarrassed by the thought of coming to Jinhwan's bed, why, Jinhwan wouldn't know. Or maybe even he's just too shy, but each time another member comes to his room, the teen's face warps into an ugly grimace.

("He looks kind of constipated," Bobby snickers into his ear as he flops down onto the mattress next to him.

"That’s mean," Jinhwan scolds him as he hits the side of his head affectionately. "How are you two supposed to become less awkward if you say stuff like this about him behind his back."

"But it's true," he drawls out the last syllable as he wraps his arms against Jinhwan's waist. Jinhwan rests his head against Bobby's chest and sighs contently warmth radiating through. It's like having a personal heater.

"Still doesn't mean you should say it," Jinhwan mutters quietly. One of these days he’ll finally manage to get the two of them to stay in the same room for more than a minute together, alone.

"I say these things about Hanbin all the time and you never care then, hyung," Bobby whines. 

"That’s because Hanbin is a big kid and can take care of himself."

Bobby shifts so his chin is tucked over Jinhwan's head. "You have such a soft spot for such a grumpy teen," he half accuses.

"I do not," Jinhwan mumbles back. The same thing he always does whenever he’s being accused of something that is definitely not true.).

At one point, Jinhwan is pretty sure he's sending mental waves of death to Donghyuk when he goes into his room. It always ends up with Junhwe huffing and almost pouting as he waddles back to his shared room with Donghyuk and grumbling about people who should learn how to sleep in their own beds.

 

Sometime during win, Jinhwan starts noticing things.

It's not that he hasn't noticed them before (at least he thinks he hasn't. Jinhwan secretly prides himself on being fairly observant when it comes to the small quirks of his group members), but that they’ve become so frequent and so obvious that he can no longer ignore them like he used to.

They're small gestures. Like how close Junhwe actually stands next to him, close enough that their fingertips could brush against one another, if Jinhwan didn't keep his arms straight most of the time. (he often wonders what it would be like if he did reach over and grasp Junhwe's hand).

During meals, their elbows constantly jostle against one another at the small table that really should be replaced. Jinhwan carefully observes the way Junhwe's lips turn up with the hint of a smile out of the corner of his eye while kicking Bobby in the shin. 

But he finds that he doesn't mind if their table isn’t replaced, not if it means he gets to see the younger boy like this. He might not be Bobby when it comes skin contact (because Bobby touches others so much like he's afraid they won't be there one day and he won't see them again), but he doesn't hate it either.

"It’s not fair," Bobby complains late one night in the studio. It's sometime after they've been assigned their first mission, and they're staying up late to make small tweaks here and there to their routine to hopefully help them (and maybe finally convince the public to like them a bit more as well).

"What’s not?" Jinhwan hums and Hanbin turns around from the computer screen as well. Both their eyes are completely bloodshot and Jinhwan sneaks a quick glance at the clock on the wall.

"Junhwe is only ever touchy with Jinhwan-hyung," Bobby huffs as chews on the end a pen. "he never likes it when _i_ try to hug him."

"Maybe that's because you tried to smother him with 'bro hugs' for a month when he first came to YG," Jinhwan tells him.

"Or maybe he just doesn't like you," Hanbin deadpans. "Unbelievable for you, I know. Shocking."

Sniffing, Bobby spins around once in his chair. "Anyway, he never lets _me_ touch him and he kind of looks like he just ate a lemon whenever Donghyuk's hanging off him too. Junhwe only ever smiles whenever _you're_ touching him, Jinhwan-hyung."

"Now you sound like you have a crush on him," Hanbin snickers. "Jealous?"

Bobby makes makes a choking noise and it sounds like a strangled cat, his face horrified at the thought. Jinhwan has to shush Hanbin when he starts laughing because those kinds of disturbances should not be allowed at three in the morning. Or ever, for that matter. 

"It’s okay," Jinhwan nods as he pats Bobby's shoulder comfortingly. "I’ll make sure to remember to give you lots of hugs too."

Regaining himself, Bobby's voice takes on something similar to a whine, "if anything, he should be jealous of me." 

"Yes," Jinhwan replies complacently, sneaking another glance at the clock, "now hurry up. We're leaving in ten minutes so you two can actually get some sleep."

 

Some days, when Jinhwan feels so drained that he wants nothing more than to collapse on the ground and shrink until he's small enough to disappear (and doesn’t want to bother Hanbin and Bobby because they’re busy working themselves to death, struggling to help them and their chance at debuting), he finds himself around Junhwe.

"Do think we'll ever debut?" Junhwe asks him one day, when they're the only two in the practice room. It's been happening more often recently.

"Yeah," Jinhwan replies automatically as he opens the nearest water bottle and begins to chug it. It's lukewarm and disgusting and makes Jinhwan nearly gags but still a small relief from the rigorous dance practice earlier.

"Together, I mean," the younger boy clarifies as he plops down in front of him. He takes off his snapback and begins fanning himself with it.

Jinhwan leans over to brush Junhwe’s bangs out the way. They're soaked through with sweat and it should be disgusting, but they make Junhwe look like he’s actually sixteen. Softer, almost.

"We’re going to debut together, the six of us," Jinhwan answers calmly as he sits down next to Junhwe. He ignores the uneasy feeling in the bottom of his chest that’s only been growing as win has gone on. (And all the late night conversations he has with Hanbin when they're lying together at night and his worries are piled up too high for someone his age to handle). 

“YG-sajangnim said whichever team doesn’t win is going to get broken up and split into new teams,” Junhwe fiddles with the cap on his water bottle.

“Then we’ll just have to win," Jinhwan replies simply, as if it were as easy as that.

"if don't want our team to get broken up," the younger boy mutters as he begins to peel off the label of the water bottle. "i like how we are right now." Junhwe looks up at him, and Jinhwan is taken aback by the intensity in his eyes.

"I like how we are right now too," he agrees, sitting down next to Junhwe and leaning on his shoulder. Junhwe's shoulder is sweating and damp, and his entire body reeks of sweat, but Jinhwan is so exhausted that he closes his eyes for a brief second.

"Promise that even if we lose and get broken up into different teams you'll still remember me, hyung?" Junhwe asks.

Jinhwan shifts upright and flicks Junhwe's forehead. "Someone is being awfully pessimistic today," he remarks.

"Just answer the question, hyung," Junhwe grumbles as he attempts to draw his mouth downwards into a frown, crossing his arms. It doesn’t end up working, his face is cross-eyed and Jinhwan feels somewhat bad for finding it hilarious.

"As if I’d forget about any of you guys. You're a very unforgettable person, Goo Junhwe. If we do get split up I’ll pester you so much that you’ll get sick of me."

This time, it looks like Junhwe can't fight the grin that breaks out on his face.

 

 

They don't end up winning.

Jinhwan is standing on the stage in between Hanbin and Yunhyeong when the results are announced, and his chest feels like it's so tight it's about to burst. His mind feels blank and numb as he walks over to team a– winner now that they've won, he supposes– to congratulate them.

His heart is pounding and he dimly registers the loud roar of the stadium. Hanbin touches his wrist and Jinhwan blinks. His eyeliner is starting to smear and sweat is mixing in with tears forming at the corner of his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something, _anything_ , but the words are stuck in his throat. Someone from the other team, he can't tell who it is exactly, pulls him into a hug and Jinhwan automatically wraps his arms around them and blinks back the tears in his eyes.

He makes eye contact with Bobby, who, very predictably, is a crying mess. Tears won't stop flowing out of his eyes. He grins, showcasing his two front teeth, even as his body continues to shake.

"Hyung," Junhwe whispers to him as he reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder as they pass each other on stage. Jinhwan gives a small shake of his head, moving out of the crowd to stand to the side of the stage.

The younger ends up lingering near him for the rest of the duration they're on stage. The corners of Jinhwan's vision blur around him; he's no longer sure whose arms are around him. Apologies and encouragements continue to blur into one, as do the voices and people around him.

Not trusting himself to speak, Jinhwan walks continuously from Team A to his sunbaes. When YG-sajangnim comes to speak to them, he's standing between Hanbin and Bobby. Their shoulders brush against his, and he swallows the ever-forming lump in his throat as he blinks back even more tears.

By the time they go back to the dorm, everyone is exhausted. No one says a word as Bobby moves robotically into the bathroom first. The roar of the shower is heard within a few minutes and Jinhwan closes his eyes and leans against Hanbin's shoulder. For once, the two of them don't join Bobby in the shower, and for once, no says anything when he takes longer than the usual ten minutes.

Across from him, Donghyuk's eyes are completely swollen and red and he continues to rub them, wordlessly. Junhwe says nothing as he stares sullenly at the legs of the table, knees folded into his chest, a position that would ordinarily cause him discomfort. Yunhyeong looks weary as well– Jinhwan can see the tear stains on his cheeks.

The roaring finally stops, and Bobby nudges him. Jinhwan blinks at him, then opens his mouth to protest. "You first, hyung," Hanbin murmurs as he nudges him until he's forced to stand up. Jinhwan narrows his eyes; part of him wants to go back to the pleasant warmth, but the other part wants nothing more than to stand under scalding hot water.

He bumps into Bobby on the way out, who gives him a sheepish smile and runs his hand through his hair, scattering water everywhere on the floor. Jinhwan sighs and steps up to rub his hair affectionately. Without any of the makeup Bobby looks worse for wear. For a brief moment, Bobby's smile falters, but then it's plastered back on as soon as it disappears and he goes to the living room. 

Once he finishes taking a shower and he's gotten Junhwe into his room, and Bobby is with Donghyuk and Yunhyeong for the time being, Jinhwan goes into his room and lies on the bed. He grabs the nearest pillow and tucks it under his chin as he peers at the bottom of the bunk bed on top of him.

The door cracks open and a small sliver of light filters in. Jinhwan squints at the doorway, he can make out the tall outline of Junhwe peering inside, holding a blanket to his chest. It's the one that Jinhwan gave to him a couple months after he joined their team. When Junhwe was shorter and more awkward than now (the kind of endearing only a fifteen year old can be).

"Hyung?" Junhwe asks hesitantly, pausing in the doorway. His voice sounds small and Jinhwan's chest feels so _heavy_ and he can feel the pressure building behind his forehead and knows he'll have an excruciating headache tomorrow.

"Not now, Junhwe," he murmurs quietly and tries to ignore the brief flash of hurt and surprise on Junhwe's face. He pulls the covers up over his head and Junhwe shuts the door so softly he almost doesn't register it closing.

Bobby's the first to crawl into his bed, Hanbin following shortly after. Hanbin is wedged between the two of them, Bobby's arm thrown across both their bodies. Jinhwan presses his nose into the nape of Hanbin's neck, his hair still wet.

"We’ll win next time," Bobby whispers in the darkness, and Jinhwan tightens his free hand in the bed sheets. “They won't break us up. Not the three of us, not _any_ of us."

 

Surprisingly, after the loss of win, nothing big happens. Nothing big in the sense that YG-sajangnim doesn't immediately split them up. Jinhwan has a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right, but he doesn't voice anything, especially when the others look to him for advice. (Despite his refusal to acknowledge it, the nagging feeling only grows in the bottom of his stomach).

They practice, just like they have before and during win, and it isn't so different, really. Except maybe the fact that they've lost and there's more than a tinge of desperation to their daily practice sessions.

It's exhausting, seeing how the other five trainees are preparing to debut while they don't know if they ever will. He can see the huge toll it takes on Hanbin, the way his teeth grind against each other during rougher days and his jaw sets squarely as he observes them with a borderline cold expression. His critique takes on a bitter, biting edge and more than once, Jinhwan can tell he's close to snapping.

Bobby bumps his shoulder into Hanbin while the three of them sit next to each other (in the studio, it's always in the studio).

"You almost exploded today," he says casually, as if he were talking about changing the beats to their song, "you need to chill."

"Blergh," Hanbin mumbles as he faceplants into Jinhwan's shoulder. Jinhwan pats his shoulder comfortingly.

"Just be a bit easier on them," Jinhwan tells him. Hanbin frowns. "Or at least a bit nicer?" he offers instead.

Bobby snorts, "Yeah, Donghyuk looked like he was about to cry today and you didn't even yell at him."

"Don’t be mean," Jinhwan reprimands him and angles himself so he can get a clear shot at Bobby's shins. He only feels a little smug when Bobby's eyes start watering. "Everyone knows that you're working hard."

"Guh," Hanbin replies eloquently.

 

The news for a new survival show comes, as most things do in YG, unexpectedly and unannounced. Jinhwan thinks that YG-sajangnim might have a bit _too_ much of a thing for survival shows.

He's sitting on Junhwe's bed, watching the younger sulk in silence as he stares at the wall. Jinhwan can tell that he's stewing on the inside. It's almost like the way Hanbin will brood when something hasn't reached his perfectionist standards, but in a different, cuter sort of way.

Junhwe frowns at wall across from him and Jinhwan can only imagine the amount of frustration he feels being forced to compete for a position that should already be his. (If there’s something Jinhwan’s learned about Junhwe from his year at YG so far it’s that he struggles with proving that he is worthy enough to be in the group, that he’s good enough. Privately, Jinhwan thinks he’s more than good enough).

Sighing to himself, Jinhwan gets up and runs a hand down his cow pajama pants. Junhwe looks up at him as he lingers in the doorway. “Come on,” he tells the younger boy, “staring at the wall at the wall and brooding isn’t going to help.”

Junhwe cheeks turn red and Jinhwan graciously decides not to comment.

The two of them are in the park and it’s two in the morning and not for the first time, Jinhwan thinks that if he keeps this up he’s going to lose the title of being the only responsible person (and a half) with a decent amount of common sense.

“It’s cold,” he remarks as he shivers, rapidly running his hands up and down his arms in an attempt to warm himself. He’s changed into Bobby’s old sweats, from when he was fourteen, that he needs to roll up more than several times and one of Hanbin’s hoodies that’s been worn so much it’s turned soft. 

Unfortunately, he hadn’t expected it to be _this_ cold.

“Do you want my jacket?” Junhwe asks and he’s already shrugged his jacket off so that it’s halfway off his shoulder. Before Jinhwan can even open his mouth to protest, Junhwe’s jacket is already slung over him.

“Thanks,” he murmurs as he zips it up. Junhwe’s jacket is even larger on him than Hanbin and Bobby’s clothes usually are– his hands are completely covered by the sleeves and the jacket extends to the middle of his thighs. However, he is significantly warmer and the small breezes no longer bothers him.

“Careful hyung, I– we– the rest of the team i mean, don’t want you getting sick right when the show starts,” Junhwe says bashfully.

“I’m not d _that_ delicate, Junhwe,” Jinhwan lets out a small laugh, smiling at him. “Shouldn’t you keep your jacket on then? I don’t want you getting sick either.”

Scratching the back of his head, Junhwe mumbles, “I don’t get sick easily.”

Jinhwan hums in response and begins walking down the street. There’s no one outside except for the two of them on the dimly lit street, and if Jinhwan strains his eyes hard enough he can make out the stars. It’s nothing like the night sky back home on jeju island, but it’s still a pretty sight nonetheless.

“Can we get ramyun?” Junhwe questions, turning around to look at him. Jinhwan pauses and their arms brush against one another. “i’m hungry,” he elaborates, sheepishly.

They end up buying two bowls of ramen with Jinhwan fumbling for change (how is he supposed to anticipate the voracious hunger cravings of a gigantic, ever-growing sixteen year old?) And Junhwe standing awkwardly by his side, rocking back and forth on his feet.

Seated on a bench in the park, Jinhwan blows on the steaming bowl and relishes the pleasant warmth it brings when he starts eating. So much for that new diet plan.

“I used to bring my dogs to the park every day,” he tells Junhwe once he’s finished his bowl at an embarrassingly quick speed. “i haven’t seen them for a while.”

“Oh,” Junhwe responds, looking down at his hands. He frowns.

“I suppose I’ll see them after we debut, though,” Jinhwan says.

“I want to debut,” Junhwe tells him. His voice isn’t bitter, just matter-of-fact. “I want to debut more than anything else.”

Jinhwan bites down on his lip and doesn’t say how desperately he wants to debut as well (with the other five, because at this point being with anyone else would just feel wrong).

He finds himself slowly leaning in towards Junhwe and it’s either the way the stars and night sky frame his face and emphasizes his features, or the lack of clear judgment that he’s had the entire night (or in general because most of the time it seems to disappear whenever Junhwe is nearby).

Catching himself, Jinhwan pulls back sharply. “We should go back,” he says, standing up. “It’s late.”

Junhwe says nothing, just gets up to follow him wordlessly. The entire walk back their arms brush against one another and despite the cold and all the layers he’s wearing, each touch is searing.

 

 

As one who’s lost one survival show before, losing is somewhat of a familiar thing to Jinhwan. But, even the familiarity doesn’t stop the devastating feeling when Jinhwan’s team comes in last during the second mission.

It’s only made worse when Junhwe, Yunhyeong, and jinhyeong are put up for elimination. Junhwe goes up, jaw squared and eyes dark as he looks at the judges. Jinhwan waits on stage by himself, for what’s probably the most agonizing fifteen minutes of his life.

He breathes a small sigh of relief when Junhwe isn’t eliminated, but the feeling is transient when Yunhyeong and jinhyeong are both eliminated.

There’s an overwhelming feeling of nausea and Jinhwan’s always been a bit of a crier, but this time the tears flow out faster than normal. Hanbin stands by his side as they walk outside and Jinhwan can feel how hard he’s trying to hold back his tears.

He watches as Junhwe and Yunhyeong cry together, Donghyuk soon joining them as he continues sobbing. His chest feels overwhelmingly tight, like it’s about to burst and he doesn’t notice that he’s started hiccupping until Hanbin starts rubbing his back.

They all end up as a complete, sniveling mess, Jinhwan unable to stop his tears and snot from running as he cries with Donghyuk and wipes his face. He can’t bring himself to look at Yunhyeong and jinhyeong, not when it’s his ineptitude as a leader that led them both to elimination (even if it was a pseudo-elimination, there’s nothing scarier than their entire team being split apart and completely remade).

He ends up walking back to the warehouse with Junhwe, placing a hand on his on his back as it shakes. The younger boy has his head lowered and hands curled into fists. “It’s not fair,” he whispers to Jinhwan, voice choking.

 

 

When they get back to the dorms, Jinhwan is still sniffling as he walks to his room. Hanbin and Bobby stand outside of the door and Bobby pulls Jinhwan into a hug. “Not now,” he mumbles into Bobby’s chest. Jinhwan’s eyes begin to prickle and the tears begin to flow out once again.

“Sorry,” Bobby murmurs into his hair and then releases him. Jinhwan says nothing, lowering his head as Bobby brushes away his tears. He doesn’t look either him or Hanbin in the eye as he trudges into his room. No one follows him and Jinhwan breathes a sigh of relief as he shuts the door. 

Once he strips to his pajamas and climbs underneath his covers he feels nothing but a hollowness inside of his chest. Jinhwan stares at the small sliver of light coming from underneath the door, and shakily breathes in and out.

His entire body is still numb when the door swings open a while later to reveal Junhwe.

“Not now, Junhwe,” he croaks as he rolls over to face the wall, pulling his blanket up to his chin.

The door is shut with a soft click but then the mattress dips down as his blanket is peeled back. He turns around to find himself with a little bit more than two inches between his and Junhwe’s face.

Jinhwan gets ready and opens his mouth, “I said not now–”

“I think you’re lonely, hyung,” Junhwe mumbles so quietly Jinhwan almost doesn’t catch it.

“What?” Jinhwan asks, a little bit more sharply than he intends to.

“You always try to handle everything by yourself, but then you always forget that we’re here too,” Junhwe says.

“You’re making it sound as though i’m Hanbin,” he scoffs. Hanbin’s emotional ineptitude can be spotted from a mile away.

“Someone told me that you aren’t supposed to keep all your feelings to yourself,” Junhwe tells him and Jinhwan looks away, finding the gaze in Junhwe’s eyes just a bit too intense.

The irony of being lectured on repressing feelings by the only person in the band who could tie with Hanbin in repressing them. “Who told you that? Donghyuk?” Jinhwan asks.

“Maybe,” Junhwe scratches the back of his neck with his hand, embarrassed. “Yeah, it was Donghyuk.”

“Thought so,” Jinhwan’s lips turn up slightly. “If you’re going to sleep here tonight then don’t sleep like that, you’re going to be uncomfortable.”

It’s a shame that they’re both shrouded by darkness, because even without any light he can tell that Junhwe flushes. Jinhwan shifts so his head is near Junhwe’s chest and wraps an arm around his waist to bring him even closer. He can feel the hesitation as Junhwe slowly wraps his arm around him in return.

“If it’s any consolation, hyung,” Junhwe says as Jinhwan’s eyelids begin to slowly droop, “I thought your song was the best.”

Jinhwan curls himself in closer to Junhwe. “If it’s any consolation,” he mimics, “I would have chosen you, not Chanwoo.”

“I don’t get how anyone in their right mind would choose Chanwoo over me,” Junhwe grumbles, “I’m way more likeable.” Jinhwan smiles into Junhwe’s chest.

 

Jinhwan valiantly ignores all of Hanbin and Bobby’s attempts to talk to him about that night. He refuses to budge no matter how hard they pry, to the point where Hanbin gives up. This is one of the few things he refuses to talk to them about. (He carefully files it away to the corner of his mind where similar memories are stored). 

Nothing much changes between him and Junhwe after that night, except that their brushes aren’t so casual and lingering anymore. Junhwe doesn’t bring it up either, he only grumbles in his usual sort of matter whenever Bobby and Donghyuk pester him about it. 

“Hyung, I think I need to become more likeable,” Junhwe blurts out as he barges into Jinhwan’s hotel room in Tokyo. 

“Think?” Donghyuk snorts from the bed next to Jinhwan. Junhwe sends him a glare that Jinhwan pretends to remain oblivious to. “Maybe you should try fanservice or something.” 

“I didn’t ask for _your_ help,” Junhwe grumbles as he walks over to sit on Jinhwan’s bed. 

“I think it’s a good idea,” Jinhwan remarks casually, fighting the urge to smile. He doesn’t tell Junhwe that’s he’s more than likeable, in a cute, grumpy sort of way, instead peering furtively over the top of his ipad to gauge his reaction. 

Junhwe balks. “Do you really think so?” He inquires hesitantly, practically forcing the words out of his mouth. Donghyuk snickers and Junhwe unsubtly kicks him. 

“Maybe you should just hang out with Jinhwan, since he’s so likeable and you’re...well, _not_ ,” Donghyuk suggests cheerfully as he rubs his shin. “or better yet, maybe you should do fanservice with him.” 

The color drains from Junhwe’s face. 

“I have to go now,” Donghyuk chirps as he bounces up from the bed, “Bobby wants to show me something.” He and Junhwe exchange a secret eye conversation involving a lot of glaring, from Junhwe, and eye rolling, from Donghyuk. “Bye, hyung,” Donghyuk says and the hotel door slams behind him. 

They’re left alone and Jinhwan is left wondering whose plan that was exactly. 

“Don’t worry,” he say, skimming through netizen comments on his iPad. “You’re a very likeable person, Goo Junhwe.” 

Junhwe moves so he’s sitting next to Jinhwan. Jinhwan leans over to rest his head on Junhwe’s shoulder. “Hanbin told us that we need to...appeal to the public, since they’re the ones voting for us.” Junhwe fidgets as he speaks.

Jinhwan snorts.

“Then he told us that Bobby would help us become more...likeable,” Junhwe grimaces as he talks, as though the idea of Bobby helping him at all is physically painful. 

So it was _Bobby_. “Tomorrow the cameramen are supposed to be filming us while we visit places,” he puts down his iPad and scoots backwards a bit to look at Junhwe.

“Does that mean you’ll help me?” Junhwe squirms. 

“Yeah,” he responds. Junhwe’s face lights up. He really shouldn’t be this endearing. 

 

On the bus, Jinhwan can feel Bobby burning eyes into the back of his head. He’s laughing loudly, with Donghyuk and jinhyeong, and Jinhwan refuses to turn around because he knows as soon as he does so, he’ll have to face Bobby’s knowing look (someone needs to teach him that playing matchmaker always ends terribly). 

“You aren’t going to go to the zoo with me?” Hanbin asks him quietly. Jinhwan wants to know if everyone’s in on this, or if it’s just Hanbin, Bobby, and Donghyuk. 

“Sorry, you’re on your own today,” he pats Hanbin’s arm as compensation. 

He walks hand in hand with Junhwe to the amusement park. Junhwe’s hand is sweaty in his, grip firm but not uncomfortably tight. (Jinhwan is eternally grateful that he doesn’t blush). 

Junhwe bumbles awkwardly the entire time, fumbling as he pays for their tickets to the Ferris wheel. _like a puppy_ , a voice that sounds eerily like Bobby supplies unhelpfully.

The space in the Ferris wheel feels too small, and Jinhwan has to remind himself more than once that they’re being filmed. He tries not to withdraw his hands too quickly from where they’d been pushing playfully at Junhwe’s chest. The touch burns.

Jinhwan tries to convince himself that the tight feeling in his chest is just because of the vertigo.  
Unfortunately, the same excuse isn’t applicable when they finally reach the aquarium. Jinhwan feels guilty for leaning into Junhwe when they facetime Hanbin. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, pretending that there isn’t any camera and just images. When he blinks again the illusion is broken. Hanbin is telling them to have fun on their date and Jinhwan becomes hyperaware of how close he actually is standing next to Junhwe.

They walk back to the bus close enough to one another that their hands jostle against one another, even though the camera has long since stopped filming. Jinhwan has to duck his head so no one sees how hard he’s smiling.

 

 

“How was your date?” Bobby grins at him from where he lounges on the bed. Jinhwan says nothing, walking straight past him in favor of sitting next to Hanbin. “Aw, hyung,” he whines as he rolls over.

“Very touchy,” Hanbin remarks dryly. Jinhwan bolts up from where he had been lying. “i facetimed them on their date, they were cute.”

Bobby jumps from the adjacent bed and lands on top of them, “Junhwe seemed happier today,” he notes, “Not as though that’s difficult, considering how grumpy he usually is.”

Jinhwan squirms, trying to shift Bobby slightly so there isn’t a heavy weight on his back and he doesn’t feel as winded. “Don’t be mean to the kid,” he scolds Bobby. The look between Hanbin and Bobby doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“See, I told you,” Bobby shifts so now he’s wedged in between him and Hanbin. “You like him, hyung,” he trills into Jinhwan’s ear.

“I don’t.” Clearly he should have stayed in his own room and not agreed to spend time with Hanbin and Bobby tonight. He should have known that Bobby would bring this up. He always does.

“You,” Bobby whispers into his ear, breath wet and more than slightly disgusting. “Like. Goo. Junhwe.” He punctuates each syllable.

“I don’t,” Jinhwan repeats, shoving Bobby so he rolls over Hanbin and off the bed. Hanbin doesn’t even blink.

“You never took me out to the park late at night,” Hanbin says dryly as he continues to monitor one of their earlier performances. “And you like me, don’t you?”

“What?” Bobby sits upright from where he had previously fallen onto the hotel room floor. “How come I never heard of this?”

“How’d you know?” Jinhwan demands. “I thought you didn’t know,” he hisses.

Hanbin shrugs. “I was awake,” Jinhwan focuses his glare on him. He had been so sure that nobody knew.

“Working,” he adds quickly. “And I pretty much guessed, you always go to the park whenever you leave late at night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?” Bobby complains petulantly before Jinhwan gets a chance to say anything. “I thought we had an agreement!”

“Hyung didn’t seem like he wanted anyone else to know, so I didn’t say anything,” Hanbin says.

“Whatever, we’ll talk about this later.” Bobby replies flippantly. Jinhwan isn’t sure whether or not to be affronted at that yet. “But don’t you see? You treat Junhwe differently from everyone else.”

“You’ve taken him on at least a couple of dates already,” Hanbin chimes in unhelpfully.

“I have _not_ ,” Jinhwan scowls. This new, not quite ambivalent attitude Hanbin has is no more helpful than his old one. “We just went to get food, and one time it was even for you,” he defends.

As glad as he is that Hanbin and Bobby do care about him in their own way (a way that’s so complex that others couldn’t possibly understand, it even confuses Jinhwan at times) he really does not need them to meddle in this.

Hanbin’s gaze softens and he nudges Jinhwan with his shoulder to get his attention. “Bobby and I talked about this, we just want you to be happy, hyung.”

Sighing, Jinhwan pouts as he allows himself to be pulled into Bobby’s chest. “i don’t like him like that, though,” he says once more.

He thinks about it, the way Junhwe is charming yet awkward, all at the same time. How he pretends to be apathetic and indifferent to others but secretly comes to Jinhwan sometimes to ask for advice (the first time it had been for a birthday present for Donghyuk and he’ll never forget how embarrassed Junhwe had been).

There’s the way the younger will sometimes fumble awkwardly around him, cheeks dusted a light pink for seemingly no reason. In the mornings he’s more than slightly irascible, grumbling to himself with half his hair sticking up that looks more horrifying than it does cute.

Then, Jinhwan thinks about Junhwe’s smile. How the corner of his lips will slowly turn up, revealing his teeth and his gums.

“I don’t like him,” Jinhwan says faintly. It sounds incredibly flimsy, even to his ears.

Bobby pats his head consolingly and Hanbin gives him a pitying look.

He hates it when they’re right and he’s wrong.

Jinhwan spends something close to two weeks after that carefully observing Junhwe. It gets to the point where Yunhyeong privately asks him if he’s alright, thinking the strange way he’d been behaving is due to the nearing date of the final concert.

It’s not that Jinhwan isn’t _sure_ that he likes Junhwe (over the two and a half weeks he’s begrudgingly acknowledge that yes, he’s has more than just a soft spot for Junhwe and that he’s maybe reciprocated Junhwe’s feelings for more than a while now, much to Bobby’s glee). It’s just that he doesn’t want to ruin the group’s dynamic and the delicate balance he and Junhwe have come to.

He doesn’t want to be the one who causes them to dance around each other on eggshells for the rest of their career. Jinhwan’s never been one for risk-taking, but he supposes Goo Junhwe is just one of the exceptions to that.

On the day the other six members are scheduled to return home, Jinhwan helps Junhwe pack. He’s atrocious at it, folding his clothes the wrong way and stuffing them into his suitcase.

“I’ll miss you,” he tells Junhwe, taking a shirt from his hand and refolding it for him.

“I’m only going to be gone for two weeks,” Junhwe mumbles as he scoots back, content to let Jinhwan pack for him. “So there won’t be enough time to miss me.”

Jinhwan laughs; Junhwe says the words with the same seriousness he does whenever he talks about dance.

“You’re quite optimistic today,” he notes. Junhwe says nothing, only grumbles something about how he’ll miss Jinhwan as well, before they lapse into silence once more.

It feels odd, knowing that this might be the last time that he’ll see Junhwe (at least during win there was never the threat of the six of them being split apart). Jinhwan’s heart hammers against his ribcage as he hands Junhwe his bag.

“Here you go,” he says. Their hands brush and it’s still the same burning touch it has been for awhile now.  
“Thanks, hyung,” Junhwe mumbles as he slings his bag over his shoulder.

He’s never been too much of a fidgeter, but right now Jinhwan plays with the hem of his shirt as the two of them stand there, unsure of what quite to do.

Jinhwan sneaks a glance up at Junhwe, who’s looking at his feet and rocking back and forth, a habit that he still hasn’t grown out of. Jinhwan pulls out a loose thread from his shirt and bites the inside of his cheek. He takes a breath.

“I like you,” he says, looking up at Junhwe to gauge his reaction.

“Oh,” Junhwe blinks. A second passes.

“ _Oh_ ,” he repeats. His eyes light up as the realization dawns on him. His entire body relaxes, as if some unseen tension was just alleviated. “Wait, like as in…like like?” 

“Yes, like as in like like,” he affirms fondly. Junhwe’s lips slowly begin to turn upward into a smile. It’s something that he hasn’t seen as often as he would like to recently.

“Well, I like you too,” Junhwe mumbles, ducking his head. “have for a while,” he says shyly, like an afterthought. There’s a small flush that’s beginning to show on his neck and makes its way towards Junhwe’s cheeks.

Opening up his arms, Jinhwan waits for Junhwe to oblige his hug.

For now, he doesn’t tell Junhwe he already knew. 

 

The two of them are lying in Jinhwan's bed. Jinhwan can feel the steady beat of Junhwe's heart and he tugs on Junhwe's arm. Junhwe automatically draws Jinhwan closer.

Even though they've been together (only in the loosest term, since dating is prohibited for trainees and they're still technically trainees) for a month and half, Junhwe still fumbles awkwardly around him, still unsure and uncertain.

It's quite endearing, and personally, Jinhwan wouldn't have it any other way.

They lie together like that, Junhwe with his chin resting on top of Jinhwan's head as Jinhwan curls into him even more. Jinhwan's eyelids slowly begin to droop.

He's startled when the door swings open, banging against the wall (it's going to leave a scratch and Jinhwan is not only slightly pissed because of that).

"I knew it," Bobby calls out loudly and when Jinhwan squints he can make out the smug grin on his face. "I told you so, Kim Hanbin. Now pay up. Having fun, hyung?"

"Not now, Bobby," Jinhwan reproaches, without any real menace behind the words Junhwe's body goes rigid.

"Have fun," Bobby says, voice smug. He winks at them before the door slams shut. Junhwe's body begins to loosen once more.

Once Bobby leaves, Junhwe mumbles, "I told you I’d only be gone for two weeks."

"Yes, you did," Jinhwan agrees and curls into him. "I still missed you, though."

"I still missed you, too," the younger says into Jinhwan's hair, as though he's embarrassed to say it out loud.

This time, Jinhwan doesn't bother hiding his smile.

**Author's Note:**

> dont ever write in lapslock it brings nothing but pain u__U


End file.
